Coffee Break's Over

In the best of times, being black is absolutely beautiful (let the choir say "Amen!"). In the worst of times, it feels something like this:

Three men went to hell.

The devil said to them "You have come to hell, and you must now choose whether to spend eternity in room 1, 2 or 3"

He then opened the doors to the three rooms.

Room 1 was filled with men standing on their heads, on a hard wooden floor.

Room 2 was filled with men standing on the heads, on a cement floor.

Finally, room 3 had just a few men, standing in human feces up to their knees and drinking coffee.

The men thought for a while, and decided to go with room 3, as it was less crowded and they could drink coffee.

They entered the door to room 3 and just as it was closing behind them, the devil said "OK men, coffee break's over. Back on your heads."

Sometimes, all you can do is laugh. Because just when it looks like everything's cool, that no public figure has acted out in a while and offended black people, some modern-day Jimmy the Greek has to come out of their face with a racist insult. For no good reason at all (not that there ever is one). By now, just about everybody in the black blogosphere has weighed in on Don Imus' ignorant and offensive remarks about the Rutgers' Women's Baskeball Team. The comment that referred to the impressive athletes as "nappy headed hos" (for those who've been under the mommy - or daddy - rock for the couple of weeks).

I've read countless, incredibly astute reactions to the "shock jock's" remarks, but thought one of the most pointed came from Deborah Dickerson's The Last Plantation: "You never see the racism coming. You're minding your own business, say, playing basketball or buying groceries or eating at Krispy Kreme when an Imus comes along and forces you to be 'black' so he can be 'white'." As a woman who deeply despises misogynistic language and has has proudly worn just about every natural style known to 125th Street, all I could think was, (to quote The Millionaire's Wife from Gilligan's Island): "Well (snif). I've never!"

Oh, wait a minute. Yes I have.

Like my friend Field Negro so eloquently alluded to, this Imus business is par for the course for those of us LWB (Living While Black). I don't like it, I don't condone it, but do I expect it? Sadly, yes. Because, just in case anybody is late coming to the party, there are a lot of ignorant people in the house. To narrow the group even further, there are a lot of ignorant racists dancing poorly, to their own rhythm. And to whittle it down even one degree further, there are a lot of ignorant racists throwing their hands in the air like they just don't care, 'cause they really don't think they're racists. I'm fairly certain Don Imus is one of those clueless types. The type that thinks that having a couple of black drinking buddies gives them free reign to say whatever and end up getting left at the bar (or in the studio) wondering "Hey...where did everybody go??"

I say this for one reason only: the term "hos" is one highly offensive thing, but how many white guys do you know actually even know the word "nappy"...until now? Hugh Grant thinks it means diaper. So does Paul McCartney. Of course they do, they're English. But what about white American guys (the ones that aren't married to black women)? Sure, terms like "diss" began popping up on sitcoms back in the early nineties and "bling" crossed quite seamlessly, thanks to people like Puffy (who I blame for many things). "Hos" I could see (rappers throw that one around all the time which is a seperate post altogether), but "nappy"? Where'd he get that one from, BET's Comicview?

All I can assume is that, much like the old anti-drug commercial, where the hysterical dad confronts his adolescent son when he finds weed in his room ("I learned it from watching you, Dad!"), Don Imus learned the word "nappy" by watching black people (not that I, nor my fellow ethnicists are personally to blame for any of this nonsense). Whether it was through listening to hip hop, watching School Daze, or hanging out with Robin Quivers, somewhere along the way, Imus caught on to another N-word and assumed the word was fair game. Or maybe he caught somebody proudly sporting one of those old school "Happy to Be Nappy" t-shirts I picked up junior year of high school at The Greek Picnic. I don't know.

What I do know is that there are words that are okay for black folks to say in present company that other people just can't use (sorry). Is it a double-standard? Yes. Is it a rusty, jagged, double-edged sword? Sure. Is it fair? Hell, yeah. It's called code-switching people, and it's high time black folks get back to that. If every word that is a part of African American vernacular is pumped into the mainstream, a critical part of the culture will be lost. I'm not saying we should go around speaking Gullah, but I do think there's a certain power to the A-B conversation. If for no other reason, then to prevent racist jerks from appropriating African American terminology and then using it to insult people.

Maybe there should be a Negro Lexicon of sorts, for words that are an historical part of the vernacular, meant only to be used in certain company. That way, they'll never be used incorrectly and nobody's feelings could get hurt. Everybody with some African ancestry would receive the book; it would be sort of like the National Do Not Call Registry. But for black people. I'm not talking about words like "pimps", "playas" or garden tools (which the Rutgers Women's Team is far from by the way, and I resent that, too). I'm talking about the words your Nana used to say when she was doing your hair in the kitchen Saturday night before church. Does Don Imus know what "baby hair" is? What "edges" are? Dear Lord, let's hope not.

It seems like every time I think the coast is clear, somebody has to slip up and say something stupid to inform me that they really think I need to forget the college degree and go scrub dirty toilets for a living. In this particular instance, what we can take from Don Imus' comments is that to some, hardworking, talented and college educated young black women will never be seen as anything more than hypersexual chicken heads. Those young ladies deserve better than that. We all do. Right now, OK Go's "Here It Goes Again" (and that mesmerizing video on the treadmills) is stuck on continuous play in my brain. Here it goes. Again.

Okay black people, coffee break's over. Back on our (nappy?) heads.


Aly Cat 121 said...

Nappy headed and he called them hoes too? *shakin head* You know I had to laugh at that cuz who in the hell says stuff like that publicly for ALL to hear unless PAID to do so? I was informed by my East Coast Hubby that ol' Imus is a "crack head shock jock" who gets paid to divert attention from REAL issues. (and he said, that dude really is a crack head)

Norma said...

Black women have been putting up with the garbage black rappers throw at them for years. Where's the shock in this? Because he's white? Anyone who's ever heard even 5 minutes of him knows he constantly insults and demeans women--of any color, age or cup size.

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Liz said...

I saw some poll that half of Americans think it was no big deal, that he's a shock-jock so it's his job to say stuff like this. And going on Al Sharpton's show, like that fixes anything. I'm surprised someone didn't check him into rehab for a week so that he'd have a clear scapegoat for his behavior. Next thing you know, he's going to say that he was just repeating what he heard someone black say. Great post, Mrs J. Great post.

nyc/caribbean ragazza said...

Great post. I don't know how someone could think it was okay to say that. Just because some ignorant rappers calls us hos to make money doesn't mean it's okay.

So female college ball players are supposed to look Beyonce now? I thought we were supposed to worry about how well they play not the state of their hair.

Fascinating that at first Imus thought it was no big deal. Idiot.

Michelle said...

And, does anyone think a 2-week suspension means anything? Sounds like an attempt to let the whole thing "die down". By that time, the execs figure another so-called scandal will take its place, and Imus can go back to his hatin' ways. Hate-speak has become the norm rather than the exception these days, sadly. Gone are the days those college athletes would've been called 'young ladies' and respected for their dedication to their sport, hard work, and academic excellence required to also participate in sports. Very, very sad.

Maia said...

Excellent post.

The worst of this? Today in the grocery store I overheard two (white) adults laughing and loudly repeating what he said, over and over, like it was the funniest thing they had ever heard. My seven year old son noticed too, and wanted to know what they meant. It was an interesting conversation to have on the ride home. ("Lessee...do I start with the word 'ho' or should we go with the history of African American hair?...") When idiots spew shit like Imus did, it gives a whole bunch of other idiots the delusion that it's okay to say.

Ginny said...

Thanks for the write up. One bright spot in this mess is Vivian Stringer and her team. I would like to see all of them get more press time and Imus less. They are great role models for standing up for yourself and others in a compassionate way. I marvel how they can stand up for themselves with out any malice. I love the idea of a private meeting with those offended FIRST and I hope they can work out the penance that means the most to each of the members of the team.

Rachel said...

Great post.

What pisses me off most is that this was the young women's shining moment, maybe even the highlight of their lives, and at the same time they should be celebrating their victory they are insulted in such a public and degrading way. What an asshole! And it's not the first time he spewed this racist garbage either. I hope he is fired.

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Anonymous said...

how come Imus and his ilk think its okay to use the worst of other cultures and not the best?

His rationale is suspect.

And I love your joke.

I'm imagining
dick Cheney in room 3.

plez... said...

* I deplore what Don Imus said about the Rutgers Womens Basketball Team.

* I hate that he thought he should go see Al Sharpton before going to apologize to the Rutgers Womens Basketball Team and their parents.

* I don't like it when rappers and hip-hop artists demean women in their music... if that's what you want to call it.

* But I'm really upset with folk who try to blame 67-year old Don Imus's use of that insulting language on some juvenile and immature Black rappers - see Norma above!

Get a life!

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