Madonna and Children
Dear Material Girl,
Congratulations on your recent adoption of baby David Banda Mwale Ciccone Ritchie. Even though there are plenty of African American baby boys waiting to be adopted as my fingers hit this keyboard, it was still good of you to go those extra miles to Malawi. Lucky kid. I'm sure you'll do a great job at dressing him up in your love and whatever else Gucci, Fendi, or Prada currently has in a 2T.
A lot of people think you're just trying to get attention. Or that you may have misconceptions about black folks in general. I'm sure there are others who just thinking you're practicing a role for the next Hollywood great white saviour movie. And they might be right. But as the mother of three young children myself, I applaud you. Anyone who already has two kids can barely imagine the challenge of raising three without wincing. And on a really bad day, no amount of domestic help would be enough to make some women want more babies. So I personally think your decsion was quite noble. Maybe your maternal generousity will inspire many other famous Americans to take the leap and internationally adopt as well, especially now that they're aware of all the extra attention you and Angelina have received. Not that you all compete with eachother or anything.
I just heard recently that you're considering further expanding your family
by adopting a brand new baby girl from Malawi, in an effort "to redress the balance". I'm going to ignore how weird that sounds and assume that said "balance redressing" would include gender as well as ethnicity. So bravo to you for thinking that way, a kid is bound to get kinda lonely as the only negro child on your estate. As a black person who is painfully aware of the general amount of discomfort one might feel being the only person of color in a classroom, I want to say thanks for considering that. I can only imagine that type of isolation in a family. By the way, I wrote some black hair care tips that may come in handy if you're still down with Malawi once all the current baby drama dies out.
I'm not even going to spend a minute considering the fact that you might actually just be planning to do this as a big f*$k you to all the people who didn't want you to go get a little African baby in the first place. I just wanted to say thank you for being considerate enough to think of David's needs, instead of plucking a child from any place on this earth, like you were buying a new pair of shoes.
A Random Black Person Who Hasn't Bought Your Albums Since '86