Double their pleasure

Speculation is swirling around the billowy, tie-died, frock Angelina Jolie recently rocked at the Screen Actors Guild Awards: was it actually hiding a twin pregnancy ? Judging from the bump the actress/activist was reportedly barely able to conceal, I wouldn’t be surprised.

Why on earth would anyone as svelte as Jolie – someone who’d probably look amazing in a plain, burlap sack, dammit – choose to roll up on the red carpet wearing something so shamelessly shapeless? In all fairness, the silk number was actually quite lovely; I wouldn't mind wearing it myself. If I was pregnant. So my guess is that it's a twofer: twin pregnancies usually show early. Way early. Before the end of my first trimester, my own dynamic duo had already made their presence known. Week eleven, my husband stared at my formerly flat belly quizzically ("Uh, hon...are there two in there?"). By the time I was five months along, a carousel conductor in Ocean City, New Jersey nearly turned me away from boarding his merry-go-round with my three-year-old for fear a baby would drop out as I was climbing off a horse.

Of course the jury’s still out on this one, but we’ll soon know the truth (one source says Jolie plans to sell the information and donate the proceeds to charity). Until then, the internet remains rife with wild guesses on whether or not the hotter-than-thou couple is actually knocked up. And fussing about whether they even need any more kids in the first place. Most of the poop-slinging is coming from people who will never change a baby Jolie-Pitt’s diaper, but insist on staying right up in their behinds, with comments like: "Kids aren't high-end accessories" I'd have to agree...beyond being rather expensive and very cute, kids and Gucci handbags don't really go together. And then, of course, this one: “How greedy…look what they’re doing to the environment!”

Nice try. I have a hard time buying the “population overgrowth” argument, especially with Brad working so tirelessly to rebuild a sustainable New Orleans . I mean come on, they're even planning to adopt a cute Katrina orphan to go with it.